Gay Cowboys in Bondage

So a while back, I was talking about reconnecting with my friend Bob. Bob has done a great service, if not to the world then at least to me, by releasing a CD collecting the recordings of my favorite Florida punk band, Gay Cowboys in Bondage. GCIB were a fun punk band, maybe sorta like The Angry Samoans or The Dickies, but with a little more emphasis on comedy.

Half of the CD is taken up by their cassette-only release, We're Not Gay But The Music Is, which was one of the crucial recordings of my high school years. This was the best tape to listen to on the way to see a punk show in Miami Beach, or a midnight screening of Rocky Horror, or even just driving around town hoping for something to do. The tape starts off with one of my very favorite punk songs, "Domestic Battlefield" (which also was compiled on one of the Flipside Vinyl Fanzine volumes). This song is so fun and bouncy, it just makes me feel good all over. For some reason, one of the images I get listening to this is of those scenes of all the Peanuts kids dancing in A Charlie Brown Christmas. The lyrics deal with domestic violence, but in a pretty lighthearted way:

When Mommy sharpens her knife
I thrill to see Daddy run for his life
When Daddy grabs his gun
I trip Mommy when she runs

I dunno, that line always killed me, but the final line about "There's nothing like a marriage where everyone wants to be boss" always struck me as something that might have come from personal experience. And I love the way he delivers the phrase "all-out slander."

Gay Cowboys in Bondage - Domestic Battlefield (mp3)
Gay Cowboys in Bondage - Muppets (mp3)

The song listed as "Muppets" is probably the best example of the band's silliness. There's at least one other song on the cassette that I consider a true classic, "Cuffs on my Hands." This song covers unique subject matter that many punk kids of the 80's could relate to: not being allowed in to bars where your favorite bands were playing:

I'm without ID
I hope they don't card me
I wasn't expecting it

I got a friend at the door
I guess he's not my friend anymore
I better go hide

I'm not looking for trouble
I don't even drink
I just want to hear some of those local bands that make me think

You see it's not that I'm scared
I've been there before
It's just the chance that I take when I walk through that door

Cuffs on my hands
And still no bands
Sure I'm underage, but this is an outrage!

I'm not gonna post that one--the CD is only 6 measley bucks, dude! If you're interested in regional 80's punk, it's a bargain!

The energy and exuberance in that recording session is infectious. There's lots of hooting and hollering between the songs, and I wonder if I heard it now, would it sound forced or desperate? I think no, because you can tell that these are kids, hyperactive teenagers that were maybe two years older than me, and it sounds like what a bunch of nerdy drama club kids having an all-night party with their parents out of town sounds like. Looking at the pictures, I feel like I know these guys, which is probably a good deal of what appealed to me back then. Hearing this was almost like hearing my own album.

Also included is the 6-song 7" Owen Marshmallow Strikes Again, which is not quite as good as the cassette, but does have some great, funny punk songs like "Big Fat Baloney Sandwich" and "Funny Red Mustache (The Kool-Aid Song)," as well as some more serious stuff like "Fist Will Follow" and "More Bruises." Although I think of them as a "funny" band, at least half the material on here is pretty serious, and "More Bruises" is actually a pretty stark account of child abuse with no jokes.

Rounding it out is a live recording at Flynn's in Miami Beach, which is great because I never got a chance to see them live. There's some good material, including a cover of the theme from Maude, and it ends with the owner cutting them off and chastising the audience for throwing food. "Now who's gonna clean this up?" And it seems fitting that such a childish recording should end with sound of an adult scolding them for making a mess. The booklet contains all the inserts for both releases, an interview from Suburban Relapse zine, and a gallery of handmade flyers.

Gay Cowboys in Bondage - The Completely Silly Discography 1983-1984 is available from Sound Idea Distribution for the absurdly low price of $6. Buy it!

[EDIT: Hey, look, I got a comment from GCIB lead singer Milo! How cool is that?]