The Coming Utopia

SO LET'S SUM UP what America would look like in an age of Obama.

To start there would be no more driving SUVs. No more Rush. For God's sake absolutely no driving your SUV while listening to Rush. No more eating whatever you want. Definitely no keeping your home as warm or as cool as you prefer. No capital gains cuts because they are unfair. Your guns will be banned. And if you have a different opinion on global warming? All those lofty supporters of rights for terrorists are going to strip every oil executive in America of theirs in a heartbeat, live and in living color.

Did I hear you correctly? No more Rush? Oh, what a happy life! To never again hear "The Red Barchetta" or "By-Tor the Snow Dog!"* To never have a bemulletted enthusiast urge me to "check out this drum fill, dude!" Sign me up!

*Or is it "By-Tor and the Snow Dog?" Whatever, it'll be banned soon anyway.